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Therapy Sessions in Port Coquitlam

Counselling for Self-Esteem & Confidence

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THERAPISTS SPECIALIZING IN THIS AREA:
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Shay

Carrie

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Zahra

Suki

Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem & Confidence

Cognitive

Negative self-talk or comparing yourself to others.

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Emotional

Feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, or shame.

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Behavioural

Avoiding challenges, people-pleasing, or procrastinating.

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Physical

 Poor posture, nervous habits like fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, and muscle tension, often in the neck and shoulders.

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Do You Care So Much What Other People Think, Even When You Know You Shouldn't?

You know you should feel good about yourself. You've achieved things. People in your life care about you. By most measures, things are fine.

But there's this voice that won't quit. The one that picks apart everything you say after you say it. That tells you you're too much in some situations and not enough in others. That says yes to things you don't want to do because saying no feels unbearable. That watches other people move through the world with ease and wonders why you can't just do that.

You might be really good at appearing confident. At showing up, doing the work, keeping it together on the outside. But on the inside you're second guessing constantly. Replaying conversations. Shrinking yourself to fit into rooms. Apologizing for things that aren't your fault. Waiting for someone to figure out that you're not as capable as they think you are.

This isn't just a mindset problem you can fix by reading the right book or saying affirmations in the mirror. Low self-esteem has roots. It came from somewhere. And until you understand where it came from and what it's been doing to your choices, your relationships, and your sense of who you are, it's very hard to actually change.

You've probably been dealing with this for a long time. Long enough that it just feels like your personality. It's not. It's a pattern, and patterns can change.

Read More: How Shame Affects the Body

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You Built This Belief About Yourself. You Can Build a Different One.

If you could just decide to feel better about yourself, you would have done it already.

Low self-esteem isn't a thinking problem you can logic your way out of. For most people it started long before they had the words for it. In the messages they received growing up about what they were worth. In experiences that taught them it wasn't safe to take up space, ask for what they needed, or trust their own judgment. In relationships that confirmed the story they already believed about themselves.

That story gets wired in. It runs automatically. And it shows up in every decision, every relationship, and every room you walk into, usually without you even noticing it's happening.

Understanding where it came from is what actually creates room for something different.

What Changes When You Start to Actually Believe You're Enough

At Serenity Counselling, we've seen what shifts when someone does this work. Not the version where you repeat affirmations and hope they stick. The real version, where you start to understand the story you've been carrying and why, and begin to choose differently.

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People stop apologizing for existing. They start setting boundaries that actually hold. They make decisions based on what they want instead of what everyone else needs. They stop outsourcing their sense of worth to other people's opinions. And they start to feel at home in themselves in a way they maybe never have before.

That's what this work is about.

What to Expect in Self-Esteem Therapy Sessions at Serenity Counselling

At Serenity Counselling in Port Coquitlam, your first session is a conversation. We want to understand what low self-esteem actually looks like in your life, where it shows up most, what it's costing you, and what you're hoping feels different. You don't need to have it figured out before you come in.

From there, we work on two levels. On the surface, we build practical tools for recognizing and interrupting the patterns that are keeping you stuck. The people pleasing. The negative self-talk. The way you make yourself smaller in certain situations. Understanding these patterns in real time is the first step to changing them.

Underneath that, we look at where the beliefs actually came from. For most people, low self-esteem is rooted in early experiences and relationships that shaped how they see themselves. Those roots don't disappear just because you know about them intellectually. We use approaches that work at a deeper level, including EMDR and Brainspotting, which can help your nervous system process the experiences that built the "I'm not enough" story in the first place.

This isn't quick fix work. But it's real, lasting change. And most people start noticing shifts earlier than they expect.

We offer in-person self-esteem counselling sessions in Port Coquitlam at Serenity Counselling, and virtual therapy across British Columbia.

Read More: How EMDR Can Quiet the “I have to be perfect“ Voice

Are You Ready to Move Past These Symptoms?

You deserve to feel confident and empowered in your skin. At Serenity Counselling, we help you challenge negative beliefs, build self-compassion, and step into your full potential.

Book a free consultation

LOOKING FOR MORE ANSWERS?

Frequently Asked Questions

  • You can tell if you have low self-esteem versus just being hard on yourself by looking at how often those critical thoughts show up and how much they control your choices. If you have low self-esteem, that inner critic is probably running the show most of the time, making you avoid opportunities, say sorry for everything, or hide who you really are. When you're just being hard on yourself occasionally, it doesn't usually stop you from living your life. But low self-esteem makes you question your worth constantly and keeps you small.

  • The difference between low confidence and low self-esteem is that confidence is about believing in your abilities, while self-esteem is about believing you're worthy as a person. You might have low confidence about public speaking but still feel good about yourself overall. But when you have low self-esteem, you question whether you deserve good things - love, success, happiness , no matter how capable you are. Low confidence says "I can't do this," while low self-esteem says "I don't deserve this."

  • Yes, self-esteem counselling will help you feel better about yourself, even though that voice in your head might be saying "nothing will work for me." When people ask "will self-esteem counselling help me feel better," I understand that doubt - low self-esteem makes it hard to believe you can change. But in self-esteem counselling, you'll learn to challenge those "I'm not good enough" thoughts and discover where they actually came from. Most people start feeling a bit more compassionate toward themselves within a few weeks.

  • Absolutely! Self-esteem counselling can definitely help you stop people-pleasing. When you struggle to stop people-pleasing, it's usually because you're worried that saying "no" means people won't like you anymore. But people-pleasing actually comes from low self-esteem - believing you have to earn love by being "easy" or "agreeable." In self-esteem counselling, we'll work on believing you're worthy of love just as you are, which makes it easier to set boundaries without feeling guilty.

  • Yes, it's completely normal for low self-esteem to make you avoid trying new things, that's one of the most common ways it shows up. When low self-esteem makes you avoid new things, it's because that inner critic is already predicting you'll fail or embarrass yourself. Low self-esteem tricks you into thinking it's safer to stay small than risk being "not good enough" at something new. In self-esteem counselling, we'll work on quieting that fear so you can take chances and discover what you're actually capable of.

  • If you're too ashamed to talk about your self-esteem problems, that shame is actually part of what we'll work on in therapy. When you feel too ashamed about self-esteem problems, it's usually because you think you "should" have figured this out by now or that needing help makes you weak. But here's the thing, struggling with self-worth is incredibly common, and there's nothing shameful about it. Self-esteem counselling is a judgment-free space where we can explore that shame together and help it feel less heavy.

  • Yes, self-esteem counselling can help you stop comparing yourself to others constantly. When you can't stop comparing yourself to others, it's usually because you're looking for proof of your worth outside yourself. But self-esteem counselling teaches you that your value doesn't come from being "better than" someone else - you're worthy just because you exist. We'll work on noticing when you're comparing yourself to others and learning to redirect that energy into appreciating your own unique qualities.

  • Somatic therapy focuses on how your body holds feelings and memories, and somatic therapy helps with self-esteem by teaching you to notice how shame and self-criticism actually feel in your body. When people ask "what is somatic therapy," I explain that it's about paying attention to things like tight shoulders when you're being hard on yourself, or how your chest feels when someone compliments you. Somatic therapy for self-esteem helps you release that physical tension and learn to stand taller, literally and figuratively.

  • EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, and yes, EMDR can help with low self-esteem, especially when those feelings come from specific experiences that made you feel "not enough." When people ask "what is EMDR for self-esteem," I explain it as a way to help your brain process those memories that created the "I'm not good enough" belief. EMDR for low self-esteem works by helping you reprocess experiences like being bullied, criticized, or rejected so they don't keep telling you lies about your worth.

  • EMDR for self-esteem can bring up memories, but it's designed to help those painful thoughts about yourself feel less intense, not worse. When people worry "does EMDR bring up painful memories," I understand that concern because low self-esteem already makes everything feel vulnerable. During EMDR for self-esteem, we work with those memories that created beliefs like "I'm not smart enough" or "I'm too much," but in a way that helps you see them differently. You stay in control the whole time, and most people find that EMDR helps those old experiences feel less powerful and more like "that happened to me" rather than "that's who I am."

  • Look for therapists who work with women and understand the extra pressure women feel to be perfect, look a certain way, or make everyone else happy. It's also helpful to find someone who gets your background and how your family or culture might affect your confidence. Therapists like Zahra Lakhdhir and Suki O'Huallachain create a safe space where you can work on feeling better about yourself without judgment.