Relationship Issues Therapy in Port Coquitlam

How Breakups & Dating Stress Hijack Your Life

Post-Breakup:

• Social Withdrawal: Cancelling plans because you’re ashamed to cry in public or tired of pretending you’re “fine.”

• Stuck in the Past: Driving past their favourite coffee shop (hello, Caffe Divano) or replaying old texts, keeping the wound fresh.

• Numbing Out: Scrolling TikTok for hours, overworking, or relying on wine to quiet the mental noise.

Dating Again:

• Settling for Less: Ignoring red flags because “it’s better than being alone.”

• People-Pleasing: Hiding your true needs to be “low maintenance” and “chill.”

• Self-Sabotage: Picking emotionally unavailable partners – because subconsciously, it feels safer.

Read More: Empowering Your Loved One’s Journey Through Recovery

Healthy relationships start with you. At Serenity Counselling, we help you heal from past hurts, build confidence, and create meaningful connections.

Ready to take the first step? Book a free consultation.

Why “Just Get Over It” Hurts (And What Actually Helps)

Well-meaning advice like “Download Tinder!” or “Focus on you!” often misses the mark. Healing isn’t linear, and dating isn’t a Band-Aid for pain. Here’s how therapy creates lasting change:

Breakup Recovery:

• Grieve Without Judgment: Honour the loss – even if others think you “should be over it.” No timeline, no shame.

• Reclaim Your Story: Break free from narratives like “I’m unlovable” or “All relationships end in pain.”

• Boundary Building: Learn to say “no” to exes breadcrumbing you or friends pressuring you to “get back out there.”

Dating with Confidence:

• Spot Unhealthy Patterns: Why do you attract the same type? We’ll explore childhood dynamics or past traumas shaping your choices.

• Redefine “Chemistry”: Shift from intense sparks (often anxiety) to safe attraction built on respect and shared values.

• Communicate Your Needs: Practice expressing desires without fear – whether it’s “I need space” or “I like you.”

  Imagine…

  • Waking up without that pit in your stomach when you remember they’re gone.

  • Feeling excited to try a new Port Coquitlam hiking trail solo, or with someone who aligns with you.

  • Trusting your gut when a date says, “I’m not ready for commitment” – and walking away with your head high.

  • Knowing your worth isn’t tied to your relationship status.

    Read More: Breaking Down Heartbreak: Coping After a Breakup
    

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

How do I know if I need relationship counselling after a breakup?

You know if you need relationship counselling after a breakup when you're still feeling stuck weeks or months later. If you need relationship counselling, it's usually because you're constantly thinking about your ex, avoiding dating completely, or feeling like you'll never find love again. When a breakup is affecting your work, friendships, or how you see yourself, that's when relationship counselling can really help you heal and move forward.

What's the difference between normal breakup sadness and needing therapy?

The difference between normal breakup sadness and needing therapy is how long it lasts and how much it takes over your life. Normal breakup sadness comes in waves , some days are harder than others, but you can still function. But if you need therapy after a breakup, you might be stuck in bed for days, checking their social media obsessively, or feeling completely hopeless about love. When breakup sadness turns into avoiding all your friends or not being able to focus on anything else for months, that's when therapy can help.

Will counselling actually help me get over my ex?

Yes, relationship counselling will help you get over your ex, even though it probably feels impossible right now. When people ask "will relationship counselling help me get over my ex," I understand that doubt, heartbreak makes it hard to imagine feeling different. But relationship counselling doesn't just help you "get over" someone; it helps you understand why the breakup hit you so hard and teaches you tools to heal. Most people start feeling less consumed by thoughts of their ex within a few weeks of starting therapy.

Can relationship counselling help me figure out why I keep dating the same type of person?

Absolutely! Relationship counselling can definitely help you figure out why you keep dating the same type of person. When you keep dating the same type and it's not working out, there's usually a pattern happening that you can't see clearly on your own. In relationship counselling, we'll explore why you're drawn to certain people, maybe they remind you of family dynamics, or there's something familiar about the chaos. Once you understand why you keep dating the same type, you can start making different choices.

Is it normal to feel scared about dating again after a bad relationship?

Yes, it's completely normal to feel scared about dating again after a bad relationship, that fear makes total sense. When you feel scared about dating again, your brain is trying to protect you from getting hurt like that again. It's actually smart that you're cautious. In relationship counselling, we'll work on understanding what specifically makes dating feel scary and help you figure out how to trust your gut about new people while still being open to good connections.

What is EMDR and can EMDR help with relationship trauma?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, and yes, EMDR can help with relationship trauma from things like betrayal, emotional abuse, or really painful breakups. When people ask "what is EMDR for relationship trauma," I explain it as a way to help your brain process those stuck, painful memories so they don't keep hurting you in new relationships. EMDR for relationship trauma helps you heal from what happened without having to talk about every detail over and over again. Many people find EMDR helps them trust again and feel less triggered by things that remind them of past hurt.

Does EMDR for relationship issues bring up painful memories?

EMDR for relationship issues can bring up memories, but it's designed to make them feel less painful, not worse. When people worry "does EMDR bring up painful memories," I tell them that yes, we do work with difficult memories, but in a way that helps you process them safely. During EMDR for relationship issues, those painful memories start feeling more like something that happened to you rather than something that's still happening. You stay in control the whole time, and we can slow down or stop if anything feels too intense.

How do I know if I'm ready to start dating again after therapy?

You'll know if you're ready to start dating again when you feel genuinely curious about getting to know someone new, not just trying to fill a void or prove you're "over" your ex. When people ask "how do I know if I'm ready to start dating again," I suggest looking at your motivations. Are you dating because you're excited about connecting with someone, or because you're lonely and hoping someone else will fix how you feel? In relationship counselling, we'll explore what "ready to start dating again" actually means for you personally.

How can I find a therapist who understands relationship challenges women face?
Look for therapists who work with women and understand the extra pressure women feel in relationships. It's also helpful to find someone who gets your background and family culture around dating and relationships. Therapists like Zahra Lakhdhir and Suki O'Huallachain create a safe space where you can talk about your relationship struggles without feeling judged.